翻译：老流氓克里欧 校对：LadyM、甜食 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
消消气
难以置信 Unbelievable.
这是我用过烤得最慢的吐司机 This is the slowest toaster.
我的天啊 真受不了 Man, oh, man. I can't take it.
便宜货就是这样 Cheap- ass toaster, that's what happened.
- 嘿 你今天是要定了这份工作是么 - 没错儿 - Hey, do you want to get this job today? - You're damn right I do.
- 我能给你点建议么 - 来吧 - Can I give you a little tip, huh? - Let's do it.
你走进去 他势必坐在高位 对吧？ You're gonna go in. He'll be up here, okay?
你在低位 他在上面 You're down here, right? He's on top.
- 由他来问你问题 - 对 - He's asking you the questions. - Uh- huh.
忽然间面试就开始了 他开始问问题 Then all of a sudden the interview starts. He asks some questions,
你开始回答问题 然后你开始问问题 you answer some questions. Then you start asking him the questions,
相当于反转过来 现在他要来迎合你了 and you flip it. Now he's trying to impress you.
- 以其人之道还治其人之身 - 还治其人之身 - Turn that shit around on him. - Turn it around on him.
- 把他绕得团团转 - 没错 就是这样 - Topsy- turvy that motherfucker. - Yeah yeah yeah.
你为什么没有信用卡？一张卡都没有？ Why you got no credit cards? You got no credit cards at all?
- 先生 为什么你没有信用卡呢？ - 你没有信用卡？ - Why don't you have a credit card, sir? - You have no credit cards?
为什么你从那些破杂志上邮购CD Why do you order these CDs out of those magazines
收件地址却填你们邻居家 and be sending 'em next door to the neighbor
等到快递员来了 and then when the UPS guy comes,
你特么又冒充邻居去领？ you pick 'em up like you live there and shit?
你一直都这样骗免费CD？ You keep ordering CDs that you don't pay for?
我只是举个例子... 怎么以其道还其身 I'm just saying... example how to turn that shit around.
明白么？举个具体点的例子 You know what I mean? Specific shit, though.
我不晓得了 反转可能不是个好主意 I don't know. It might not be such a good idea, this whole flip- it thing.
我很喜欢啊 兄弟 我很喜欢 I like it, man. I like it.
- 你好 - 您好 请问是大卫先生么 - Hello. - Hi, is this Mr. David I'm speaking with?
那个 不好意思 我不感兴趣 You know what? I'm sorry. I'm really not interested.
- 我听说您正在寻找房屋抵押贷款 - 电话推销员 - I understand you're in the market for a mortgage. - Telemarketer.
- 为了您的财产... - 可不是么？ - So to preserve your financial... - right, huh?
他还真是滔滔不绝 先生 我说了我真的不感兴趣 He's talking right now. Sir, I said I'm really not interested.
他听不进去 你真是听不进... He don't give a fuck. You don't give a fuck about this...
他在还说 够了 请你别再打过来了 He's still talking. All right, please don't call here again.
- 有没有其他人... - 先生 我很抱歉 - Is there someone else... - Sir, I'm sorry.
- 搞什么？ - 他们真是疯了 - What the fuck? - They're crazy.
- 我的电话和你同款 - 是么？ - Got the same phone. - You do?
- 同一款 - 对 用起来挺不错 - Same damn phone. - Yeah, this is a good product.
- 拉里 你会载孩子们上学吗？ - 我会的 - L.D., you taking the kids to school? - I'm taking the kids to school.
谢了 宝贝儿 拿上你的书包 Thank you. Baby, get your backpacks over there.
- 给你 - 拉里！ - There you go. - Larry!
等一下！这个东西真是让人难以置信 All right, one sec! This is really unbelievable.
拉里！ Larry!
- 嘿 - 你在干嘛呢？ - Hey. - What are you doing?
我觉得你都把我给忘了 I feel like you forgot about me.
没有 怎么可能呢 No no, of course not. I didn't forget about you.
我连一点喝的东西都没有 I don't have anything to drink.
噢 真的对不起 我很抱歉 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
我在搞那个破吐司机呢 I'm dealing with that farkakte toaster down there, you know?
你知道我病得多严重么？ Do you realize how sick I am?
- 你发烧了么？ - 是啊 - Do you have a fever? - Yeah.
- 应该怎么摸 这样么？ - 不 我... - How do you do it? This way? - no, I'm...
你能不能认真点帮我 Please, if you would just help me out a little.
我总是摸不出别人发没发烧 Always had a problem telling fever.
- 这样噢 - 然后摸自己的额头么 - Yeah yeah. - Then you feel your head.
其实我感觉我的额头比你还烫 现在我也觉得自己发烧了 See, I feel I'm hotter than you. Now I feel I have a fever.
说不定我也要病了 Maybe I'm getting sick.
摸摸我额头 我病了么？ Touch my head. Am I sick?
你没发烧 You don't have a fever.
- 嘿 对了 - 嗯？ - Hey, guess what. - Mmm.
里昂今天有个面试 Leon has a job interview today.
- 那挺好的 - 对啊 - Yeah, that's good. - Yeah.
洛雷塔明天也去面试 太巧了吧 And Loretta has one tomorrow. This is unbelievable.
只要他们其中一个找到了工作... If one of 'em gets a job...
- 他们就要离开这儿了 - 我觉得我明天去不了 - They're out. - Look, I don't think I'm gonna be able to go
- 凯莎的演出了 - 不会吧 - to Keysha's play tomorrow. - You're kidding.
你... 你可能要带着别人去了 You... you should probably take somebody else or something.
真的么？我想带你去啊 亲爱的 我不想带别人去 Really? I wanna take you, honey. I don't wanna take anybody else.
不 我不能到人多的地方去 No, I can't go out there with other people...
- 我想带你去... - 那么嘈杂 - I wanna take you. - ...and sit in a crowd.
想带你去 Wanna take you.
你不会是想来一发吧 Please tell me you're not coming on to me.
不好吗？ No good?
给我点水和果汁 If you could just get me some water and some juice,
就好了 that would be great.
- 好吧 没关系 - 我真的很累 - All right, anyway. - I'm really tired.
好吧 我去给你倒点水来 好么？ All right, I'm gonna get you some water, okay?
还有 你这件衣服 手感真好 This is very nice, by the way, this thing.
行了拉里 谢谢 Okay, thank you, Larry.
嘿！ Hey!
- 啊！家长们你们好呀 - 嗨 拉里 - Ah! Hello, fellow parents. - Hi, Larry.
- 你好么？ - 拉里 你好么？ - Huh? - How's it going, Larry?
- 我挺好的 哈尔你呢？ - 我也挺好 - Good, how are you, Hal? - Good.
- 嗨 珍 苏西 - 终于到我了 嗨 - Hi, Jean. Susie. - Last. Yeah.
抱歉啊各位 我得先走了 Hey, guys, I'm sorry. I gotta get going.
待会儿见 爱你 I'll see you later, okay? I love you.
- 拜拜 - 你们太美好了 他多爱你啊 - Bye. Bye. Bye. - Oh, that's so cute. He's so sweet.
- 拜拜 这是"拜拜"的手势对吧？ - 他人真好 - Bye. That's the sign for "bye," right? - He's a sweet guy.
- 是吧？看 我学会了 - 嗯嗯 - Huh? See, I got that down. - Yeah.
- 你是天才 - 是吧？"一般"怎么比划？ - Yeah, you're a genius. - Huh? Bye. How about so- so?
"一般" 是这么比划？ So- so, is that it?
- 看我做得怎么样？ - 特别好 很好 - See, how about that? - Yeah, that's great. Great.
那"好臭啊"怎么比划？ How about, "phew, it stinks"?
我还知道更多呢 I know a lot more, too.
问你个问题 你家的吐司机好用么？ Let me ask you a question. You happy with your toaster?
你家的吐司机好用么？ You happy with your toaster?
怎么了？ Why, what's wrong?
- 太慢了 一辈子都烤不好 - 噢 太慢了 - It takes forever. It's so slow. - Oh, it's slow.
最近有促销活动呢 Oh, there's a sale.
在 Sur La Table 那儿有吐司机促销 Sur la table. Sur la table's having a sale on toasters.
你怎么知道"Sur La Table"怎么说的？ How do you know how to say "sur la table"?
她拼出来的呀 拉里 She spelled it, Larry.
- 她会拼写好么 - 你挺棒啊 - She spelled it. - You're pretty good.
是啊 你不了解我的地方多了去了 Yeah, there's a lot of things about me you don't know.
- 嗨 宝贝儿 - 我要去促销卖场看看 你也去？ - Hello, sweetheart. - I'm going to that sale. You too?
- 嗨 萨米 - 嗨 - Yeah. Hi, Sammie. - Hi.
啊有蜘蛛！蜘蛛！ Ah! Spider! Spider!
- 我的天啊！- 蜘蛛！ - Oh my God! - Spider!
- 不是吧！ - 你有毛病么 拉里？ - Come on! - Larry, what is the matter with you?
- 你杀生了！ - 怎么了？ - Killing a live creature! - What?
你有毛病么？孩子们会留下心理阴影的！ What is wrong with you? You're traumatizing these kids!
- 说什么呢？这是蜘蛛啊 - 那也是一条生命 拉里 - What are you talking about? It's a spider. - It's a living creature, Larry.
噢 生命！你想让那条生命爬到你腿上来么？ Oh, living creature! Do you want that living creature crawling up your leg?
那也不用让孩子们看到暴力场面吧 These kids don't need to see that kind of violence.
小蜘蛛罢了 多大点事儿啊 It's a little spider. Big deal.
- 你还好么 宝贝儿？ - 天呐 这是你的狗？ - Are you okay, sweetie? - Oh my god. Is that your dog?
我还以为那是半个耗子之类的呢 I thought it was, like, half rat or something.
他说那是耗子 Said it's a rat.
看起来像...别介 只是开个玩笑 You know, like it looks... No, it's... it's a joke.
我开玩笑呢！ I was joking!
开玩笑！ Joking!
- 你冒犯到她了好么？而且她听不见你嚷嚷 - 你都... - You insulted her now, okay? She can't hear you screaming. - What did you...
你听到我说什么了 我说你说那是半个耗子 You heard what I said. I said you said it was half- rat.
怎么会养那样一只狗啊？ How do you wind up with a dog like that?
噫！ Mmm!
- 嘿 哈尔 - 你好啊 拉里 - Oh, hey, Hal. - Hey, how you doing, Larry?
挺好的 其实我挺高兴能又看见你 Good, do you know what? I- I'm glad I saw you again,
因为你离开之后 because after you left,
我说了点 I made a little comment
可能让你妻子不太舒服的话 that maybe didn't go over so well with your wife.
我说她的狗看起来 I said her dog looked,
就是 像半个耗子 you know, half- rat.
- 真的？ - 对 - Really? - Yeah.
- 我是用开玩笑的语气 - 嗯哼 - I was joking in my tone. - mm- hmm.
我的语气是开玩笑的 I had a joking tone,
但我猜 可能因为 她听不见 but I guess because, you know, she doesn't hear,
她就没办法听出我的语气 she's not able to detect tone.
- 是听不见 - 那只狗吧 - No. - You know, the dog.
它确实长得挺像耗子的 这你肯定同意吧 It is kind of a ratty- looking dog. You've gotta admit that.
- 她真的很爱那只狗 - 你呢？ - She loves that dog. - How about you?
- 你也会摸那只狗？ - 是的 - Do you pet that dog? - Yeah, I pet...
- 你摸那只狗？ - 我会摸那只狗 - You pet that dog? You pet that dog? - I pet that dog.
是的 我会摸那只狗 I pet that dog, yes.
无所谓 帮我个忙 告诉她我是开玩笑就好 Anyway, just do me a favor and tell her I was joking.
- 我很抱歉 - 我觉得你应该亲自道歉 - I'm sorry. - Well, I think you should apologize.
好吧 我会的 Well, I would,
可是我又不能打电话给她 except I can't really call her.
她耳朵有残疾 The deaf thing again.
我知道她听不见 I know she's deaf.
当然当然 Yeah. Yeah, of course.
你就不能亲自上门来道歉么 Why don't you come over and just apologize face to face,
这样她就能亲眼看见你说对不起了 so she can actually see it coming out of your mouth?
你想让我特意上门来道歉？ You want me to come by, make a special trip?
我可不觉得她会喜欢 I wouldn't think she would want that.
我觉得他们想要像普通人一样的待遇 I would think that they wanna be treated like everybody else.
- 你说的"他们"指谁？ - 就聋子们啊 - What do you mean "they"? - Well, deaf people,
因为只有他们需要别人特意上门来道歉 'cause they're the only ones who need a special pop- in apology.
其他残疾人就只用打电话给他们道歉 Every other kind of handicapped person you can apologize to on the phone.
聋子需要亲自上门 Deaf people require that you go to their house.
是这样啊 Right.
我不认为他们会喜欢这样 仅此而已 I wouldn't think they would want that. That's all.
我还是认为你应该专门来一趟 I still would appreciate it if you would come by and apologize to her.
她真的很爱那只狗 She really loves that dog.
你看电视的时候那条狗会坐在你腿上？ That dog sits in your lap while you're watching tv?
是的 Yeah.
好吧 我很乐意来拜访 Okay, I'm more than happy to come by.
谢了 Thanks.
你刚刚叫我什么？ What did you call me?
操你妈！ Fuck you!
啥？ What? What?
谢丽儿躺在床上 Cheryl was in bed.
在发烧 She had a little temperature,
但她生起病来竟然有点让我性致盎然 but something about it that kind of turned me on. She's sick.
- 我懂 - 她很无助啊 你懂我意思么？ - I understand. - She's helpless. You know what I mean?
我喜欢反过来的 我生病的时候 I like it the reverse, when I'm sick.
哪一种我都喜欢 Yeah, I like it either way.
- 我可能就好生病这一口的 - 很好！ - I guess I just like sick sex. - Yeah!
- 这挺好的 没什么可顾虑的好么？ - 好吧 - It's all good. It's good, all right? - Okay.
好吧 我问你个问题 Okay, all right. So let me ask you this question.
- 你知道我爸最近有点无精打采 - 是啊是啊 - You know my father's been kind of depressed lately. - Yeah. Yeah.
我就在想要不要给他来一个 So I'm thinking maybe actually getting him one of those,
那种按摩 大保健 you know, the massages, the happy- ending kind.
- 大保健 我是行家 - 按摩嘛 - Happy ending. I am the guy. - Massage.
- 真的？ - 你想我推荐几个么？ - Really, yeah? - You want some names?
- 随便说就好 - 我知道几家很不错的 - Anybody. - Well, I got some great ones, and they give great massages.
他知道他要去按摩的时候肯定会激动坏了 So he thinks he's getting a massage. He's gonna freak out, man.
我知道一个技术超赞的女孩 名字叫丽莎 I know the perfect girl. Her name's Lisa.
- 丽莎 - 丽莎 她会像伺候国王一样 - Lisa. - Lisa, she will treat him like a king.
她是你能请到的最棒的了 She's the best girl you could possibly get for this.
- 哪一行最棒的女孩？ - 星期二来打扫的那个女孩是谁？ - Best girl for what? - What's the girl who cleans on Tuesday?
- 她叫什么来着？ - 罗莎琳娜 - What's her name again? - Oh, Rosalina.
- 罗莎琳娜 - 她真的很厉害 - Rosalina. - She's terrific.
- 你有她电话 待会儿给他 - 行啊 - You've got her number. You'll give it to him. - Yeah, all right.
- 噢你知道么 - 什么？ - Oh, you know what. - What?
我得问你一个关于手语的问题 I need to ask you a question about sign language.
我刚才在洗手间遇见哈尔... I was in the men's room earlier with Hal...
- 嗯哼 - ...我在烘手 - Okay. - ...and I was drying my hands,
我一定是不经意间比了什么手势 and I must have signed something inadvertently,
因为他瞬间就被惹怒了 还说"操你妈" because all of a sudden, he got pissed off, said, "fuck you, "
- 然后暴跳如雷地出去了 - 你做什么了？再做一次 - and stormed out. - well, what did you do? Re- enact.
我就在烘手啊 I was drying my hands, you know,
我记得我还拉伸了一下我的手指 and then I remember scratching my finger
- 像这样 - 等会儿 - like this. - Oh, wait a minute.
拉里 这是"舔大屌"的意思 Larry, this means "cocksucker."
你说他是舔大屌的混蛋 想想吧 You called him a cocksucker. Think about it.
你叫他舔大屌的混蛋？ You called him a cocksucker?
- 你确实这么称呼他了 - 不会吧？ - You called him a cocksucker. - Are you kidding?
他以为你叫他舔大屌的混蛋 没错 He thought you said cocksucker. Yes, that's what this is.
哈尔 世界上最可爱的人之一 被你称作舔大屌的混蛋 You called Hal, one of the sweetest guys in the world, a cocksucker.
他说"操你妈"然后走了？做得好 He said, "fuck you," and walked out? Good for him.
- 哼！ - 难以置信 - Ha! - Unbelievable.
而且我明天找不到人一起去看《油脂》了 Meanwhile, I got nobody to take to see "Grease" tomorrow.
- 噢 谢丽儿病了 - 是啊 - Oh, Cheryl's sick. - She's sick, yeah.
- 她都去不了 - 所以你没人陪咯 - She's not even going. - So you got nobody to go with.
谁会自己一个人看《油脂》？你一定要找人一起去 Who watches "Grease" by themselves? You gotta go with somebody.
- 我找不到人选 - 我去 - I have nobody to take. - I'll go.
我跟你去看《油脂》 I'll go to "Grease" with you.
这是迈克 帮我灭虫的 That's Mike. He's my exterminator.
你好么？我听到你说你多了一张票 How you doing? I heard you say you got an extra ticket.
我挺想去的 I'd love to go.
呃 这是中学生编排演出的 Well, you know, it's a middle- school production...
孩子们演的《油脂》 你可不会想看 Kids doing "Grease." you don't wanna go see that.
我会喜欢的 我很想去 I'd love it. I'd love to go.
那个 Well, you know,
我老婆明天会好点儿的 my wife could get better by tomorrow.
- 我真的... - 好吧 - I really... - Okay.
- 什么？ - 我能理解 我懂的 - What? - Yeah, no, I understand. I get it.
什么？你说什么呢？ What? You get what? What are you talking about?
我不应该这么做 抱歉 I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.
格林先生 我很抱歉 我马上就完工 Mr. Greene, I'm sorry about that. I'll finish up.
不不不 你想错了 不是这个意思 No, that's crazy. No, don't be silly.
我只是听到你说多了一张票 I just overheard that you had an extra ticket,
刚好我很喜欢《油脂》 所以我想去 and I love "Grease," and I'd love to go,
但是... 嗯 but... yeah.
好吧 没关系 All right, okay.
- 太好了 - 嗯哼 你可以来 - That's great. - Okay, yeah, you can go.
我们一定会嗨翻全场 We're gonna have a blast. That's gonna be fun.
一定很好玩 用不用我来接你？ That's gonna be great. Should I pick you up?
好啊 来接我吧 Sure, pick me up.
嘿 我们一定会玩得特别开心 嗨翻天 Hey, we're gonna have fun. We'll get fucked up.
- 知道么？ - 当然 - You know? - Yeah.
昨天进行得很顺利 It went good yesterday.
- 真的真的很不错 - 是么？ - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. - Really?
- 什么时候知道结果？ - 今天 - When are you gonna hear? - I'll know today.
- 今天？开玩笑吧 - 是今天 - Today? You're kidding. - Yes, today. Oh, yeah.
- 你迷倒他了 - 迷得他头昏眼花 - You flipped him. - I flipped his ass good, man.
- 是么？ - 我掌握了话语权 - Huh? - Took the whole conversation over.
所以是你在面试他 So you were interviewing him
看他合不合你的心意 as to whether or not he was good enough for you.
势在必得 我把他玩得团团转 现在可膨胀了 Yeah, I think I got it. I'm flipping ass right now. I'm out of control right now.
- 你可别迷倒我 - 你怎么知道我不能迷倒你？ - Don't flip me, man. - How do you know if I haven't already flipped your ass?
- 你迷不了我 - 你怎么知道？ - I'm unflippable. - How do you know?
- 只有女人可以 - 我会的 拉里 - Only women can flip me. - I'll flip you, Larry.
拉里你是个聪明人 我给你个建议 Words to the wise, Larry:
这吐司机一文不值 该死的吐司机 this toaster ain't worth a damn. Flipping toaster.
- 你们看看 怎么样？ - 噢 看看你 - All right, y'all, what do you think? - Ooh, look at you.
- 我看起来专业么？ - 简直像个专家 - Do I look professional? - It's on now pro- fes- sion- nal.
- 拉里？ - 你看起来真的很不错 - L.D.? - You're looking pretty good, I gotta say.
- 你会载我一程的对吧？ - 当然 - You still gonna give me that ride, though, right? - Yeah, I'm gonna take you.
- 我有预感你们俩都能成功 - 太棒了 - Hey, I'm sensing two jobs. Two jobs. - All right.
- 我也有这种预感 - 然后就可以 那个 - I'm feeling that. - And then maybe, you know,
你们就可以考虑... 住你们自己的房子 you'll think about getting your own... your own place.
你真觉得我的西装不错？ So you really like my suit?
惊艳全场啊 完美！ Man, that is banging, girl. Perfect!
我不想看起来太傲慢 'Cause you don't wanna be too assuming.
其实即便你们只有一人找到工作 You know, even if one of you actually got a job,
你们也可以考虑搬出去自己住 you could probably all just move into an apartment, huh?
考虑一下吧... Yeah, something to...
- 嘿！ - 嘿！ - Hey! - Hey!
- 谢谢你 - 嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿！ - Thank you. Thank you so much. - Hey. Hey hey hey hey!
你干嘛？我以为你会晚些来 What are you doing? I thought you were coming later.
晚一些？我等不及了 我恨不得立刻见到你 Later? I couldn't wait to see you. I couldn't wait to get here.
天啊 见到你真开心 My goodness, I am so happy to see you.
我看起来不错吧？ Do I look good?
- 挺好的 - 是的 很不错 - Pretty good. - Yes, pretty good.
我是不是看起来更健康 更放松了？ Do I look healthier? Do I look relaxed?
我当然是...觉得你看上去...很放松 I gotta say, you gotta... You gotta... look relaxed.
你步履轻盈 You got a nice bounce to your step.
是的 我步履轻盈 Yes, I do have a bounce to my step,
因为我获得了超幸运的待遇 不是简单的按摩 because something wonderful happened to me, not just a massage.
- 是么？ - 按摩真的很不错 - Really? - I had a nice massage.
噢 我的老天 多棒的按摩啊 Oh, boy, what a massage,
而且这女孩喜欢我 and this girl likes me.
这女孩说不定爱上我了 This girl maybe even loves me,
而我也爱她 and I am in love with her.
爸 我很高兴 Dad, I'm thrilled
- 你经历了这么美好的时光 - 是啊 - you had a good time. - Yeah.
- 享受了一次无与伦比的按摩 - 的的确确 - You enjoyed the massage. - Yes, I did.
但所有客户他们都爱 爱客户 They like all their clients. This is their job,
正是他们的职责 to like their clients.
可她超常发挥了 She outdid herself on this job.
你知道我下一步要做什么？我要给她... You know what I want to do? I want to get her something lovely,
- 买件很棒的礼物 - 不不不 你疯了么？ - something wonderful. - No no no, what, are you, crazy?
- 是的 我疯狂了 - 不要给她买任何礼物好么？ - Yes yes, I'm crazy. - Don't buy her any presents, okay?
- 为什么不？ - 她已经得到报酬了 - Why not? - She got paid for the massage,
你不用再花钱给她买任何大礼 you don't need to buy her any big present or anything.
拜托 拉里 这可是私人性质的 Come on, Larry. This is personal.
她做的那些 都表示她爱我 She did things that say love.
拉里！ Larry!
我得... 我马上下来 I gotta... I'll be right down.
- 听见了么？ - 这就是爱 - Do you hear me? - This is love.
爸你知道么 任何人他们都爱 Yeah, dad, you know, they... they like everybody.
但她对我是特殊的爱 But this one liked me particularly.
拉里啊！ Larry!
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
你能帮我做点全麦吐司么？ Could you get me some wheat toast?
全麦吐司？ Wheat toast? You know what?
说真的 我得送洛雷塔去面试了 Honest to god, I gotta take Loretta to this job interview
那个吐司机得花一年才能烤好 and that toaster takes a year.
我就知道 This is what I'm talking about.
- 你根本不在乎我 - 我在乎你啊 - You don't care about me. - No, of course I care about you.
这么久了 我还是第一次有点食欲 I feel like eating for the first time in I don't know how long.
好吧 我这就给你做吐司去 没问题 All right. Okay, all right, I'll get you the wheat toast. Okay.
嘿 里昂 抱歉 我要用吐司机 Hey, Leon. Sorry, man. I need the toaster.
拉里 我们是不是马上就走？ L.D., are we leaving soon?
啊？好的 再等我给谢丽儿送点吐司 Huh? Yeah, I just gotta make Cheryl some wheat toast.
拉里 我等这两片已经等很久了 I got a lot of time invested in this toaster, Larry.
这下我又要重新来过 Now I'm gonna have to start over again.
- 你不用重新来过 - 你搞得我要重新来过了 - You don't have to start all over. - I gotta start all over again.
- 你停下再继续就好了 - 一片吐司绝不能进两次吐司机 - You pick up where you left off. - I can't pause toast.
- 可以 - 如果吐司回炉的话 - You can pause toast. - If this toast goes back in that machine,
- 就丢失它的精髓了 - 里昂！里昂！ - it's gonna lose its essence, Larry. - Leon! Leon!
你能不能让让他？ Will you get a man his toast?
来了 给你 Okay, here you go.
- 好了 亲爱的 - 等会儿 - All right, honey. - Wait a second.
我想要烤吐司 I wanted toast.
- 这是烤吐司 - 都没烤透 - That's toast. - It's not toasted.
- 它烤透了 - 我不要面包 我要烤吐司 - That's toast. - I didn't want bread. I wanted toast.
它进过吐司机了 This has been in the toaster.
你能再烤会儿么？它一点也不... Can you toast it again? 'cause it's not...
一片吐司绝不能进两次吐司机 You can't pause toast.
嘿拉里！ Yo, L.D.!
- 她面试要迟到了 - 好吧 你可以走了 - She's gonna be late for her interview. - All right, go.
- 走吧 - 她可能... - Just go. - she's probably all... all...
抱歉 亲爱的 我尽力了...抱歉 I'm sorry, honey. I did the best... I'm sorry.
拉里！ Larry!
- 拉里 快点！- 天呐 很抱歉 - L.D., please! - Oh my god, I am so sorry.
- 快点 我要走了！ - 你知道她病着呢 - Hurry! I need to go! - you know, she's sick up there...
- 我要迟到了 现在必须出发 - 好的好的 - I'm gonna be late. I have got to get going. - Okay, all right.
我再拿一下我的... 爸 走了 Let me just get my... Dad, come on.
- 她要迟到了 - 快点儿 - She's late. - Okay, come on.
- 你就是我的幸运星 - 快来 - I'm gonna use you as my good- luck piece. - Okay, come on.
- 该死 我的手机 - 又怎么了？ - Oh, shit, my phone. - What now?
好了好了 出发！ All right, great, let's go!
真的很抱歉 I'm sorry, really.
拉里 你能开快点儿么？ L.D. Do you think we can go a little faster?
洛雷塔 我尽全力开到最快了 我还能怎样？ Loretta, I swear, I'm going as fast as I can. What can I do?
- 使劲踩油门啊 - 但现在堵着呢 - Okay, we'll just have to step on it. - I mean there's traffic here.
- 我知道 - 看这个蠢蛋 - I know it is. - Look at this schmohawk over here.
蠢蛋 Schmohawk.
- 什么？！ - 我在他小时候教他的 - What?! - I taught him that when he was a kid.
每个不好的司机我都这么叫他 I used to call... every bad driver was a schmohawk.
你喜欢这么说么？ Do you like that one?
好的 谢谢 我马上回来 Okay, thanks. I'll be right back.
嗨 我知道我迟到了 我叫洛雷塔布莱克 Hi. I know I'm late, but I'm Loretta Black.
- 我跟巴尼克先生约好了面试 - 他等了半个小时 - I have an interview with Mr. Badnick. - He waited for half an hour.
他不得不走了 我很抱歉 He had to leave. I'm sorry.
我们还能改时间么？ Can we reschedule?
人选已经定了 He's already filled the position.
我们花了整整15分钟等那个该死的吐司机 15 whole minutes we were waiting on that damn toaster.
- 15分钟！ - 它速度很慢 - 15 minutes! - It's a slow toaster.
是啊 就因为它我错过了面试 Yes! Because of that damned toaster, I missed my job interview.
我很抱歉... 我现在就去买一台新的 I'm sor... I'm gonna buy a new toaster right now.
- 确实你得这么做 - 就现在！ - Yeah, that's exactly what you need to do. - Right now!
- 我要买一台新吐司机！- 我还要给丽莎买一台 - I'm buying a new toaster! - And I'm gonna get a toaster for Lisa.
打住行么？ Will you stop it, please?
我要给我的挚爱 I am gonna get my love lady,
一台吐司机 I am gonna get her a toaster.
- 我不知道 拉里 - 你可以把贝果放在这儿 - I don't know, L.D. - Look, you can put a bagel in there.
你不用按下去 You don't have to press down on it.
- 啊 所以这半边放贝果... - 对 - Ah. So that's the bagel side... - Yes,
- 功能都涵盖到贝果了 - ... 这边烤吐司 - they've taken the bagel into consideration. - ...and the toaster.
这台很不错 你觉得它会烤一整天么？ That's a good one, but do you think it's gonna take all day?
这是个好问题 Well, you know, that's the question.
怎么 你喜欢那款？ Uh- huh. What, you like that?
- 他很可爱 - 是么？ - He's cute. - Yeah?
- 对我来说有点太白了 - 太白了？ - A little too beige for me, though. - Too beige?
- 我更喜欢巧克力色的 - 你喜欢巧克力色的 - Yeah, I like them chocolate. - You like them chocolate.
- 对我喜欢巧克力男孩 - 我根本不在乎肤色 - I like them chocolate. - I could care less about shade.
- 是么？ - 当然 - Really? - Yeah.
- 你喜欢哪款？ - 我哪款都行 - What do you like? - I'd go anywhere
从白化病人到非洲土著我都能接受 from like albino to the heart of darkness africa black.
- 不会吧 - 当然 - No way. - Yeah.
噢 那是珍 我马上回来 Oh, that's... that's Jean. I'll be right back.
嗨 Hi. Ahem.
吐司机？ Toaster?
对 你告诉过我的 Yeah. Yeah, you told me.
我很抱歉... Sorry about what... I was joking
拿你的狗来开玩笑 哈哈哈 about the dog. Ha ha ha.
都是开玩笑 Joking, joking.
不是什么耗子 怎么可能像耗子呢 No, not a rat. No rat.
一点也不 我很喜欢你的狗 No no. I like the dog.
你想我亲亲它？来补偿... 好啊 You want me to kiss him?! Yeah, to make up... sure.
好吧好吧 Okay okay.
来吧来吧 Yeah yeah.
谢谢你 Thank you.
噢 还有你丈夫... 我在洗手间... Oh, and your husband... I was in the bathroom...
他在洗手 我比了个动作 You know, and he was washing and I went like this
因为我拉伸了手指... 'cause I had a scratch and...
那意思很不好 "吸大屌" 我的天啊 That's bad. "cocksucker," come on.
都是误会 Misunderstanding.
误会 Yeah, misunderstanding.
我很抱歉 Okay. Sorry.
你们也会去看《油脂》？ You'll be at the play? "Grease"?
- 她... 挺享受的 - 呃 - ...that she... Kind of joy. - Hmm.
不是那样的 是一种性方面... It's not that. Of course, it's some sexual...
她看我的方式很特殊 But she's got a kind of way of looking at me
- 让我觉得很温暖 - 她专门为你这么做 是吧？ - that makes me feel warm. - She does it for you, huh?
- 噢我的天 - 听着 我看到一台咖啡机 - Oh my god. - And listen, I saw a cappuccino machine.
我觉得它很棒 你也会喜欢的 I love this thing and I know you are too.
你不能送她咖啡机 You're not getting her a cappuccino machine, okay?
听着 爸 是我安排的这次按摩好么？她专门提供... Listen, dad. I set this massage up, okay? This woman gives like...
这种特殊照顾的服务 只要是她的顾客她都会提供 You know, happy- ending massages. She gives them to everybody.
我不知道你说的特殊照顾是什么 I don't know what you're talking about with this happy ending.
- 我说的就是这个 - 我只知道 这个女孩非常非常... - I'm talking about this. - all I know is, this girl, for goodness sake...
- 就是你懂的 - 噢 - You know. Yeah. - Oh.
噢... Oh...
不 我不是指你 这是个误会！ No, that wasn't to you! It's a misunderstanding!
误会啊！ Misunderstanding!
嘿 哈尔 我是拉里大卫 Oh, hey, Hal. It's Larry David calling.
呃 今天早些时候我跟你妻子在商店里 Um, there was a little incident at the department store earlier today
发生了点误会 她可能误解了我的所作所为 with your wife. And she may have misinterpreted something I did,
就是 一个手势 a gesture, you know, uh...
我只是想告诉你到底怎么了 Anyway, I just wanna talk to you about it and tell you what's going on.
呃 你可以打我的... 打我的手机好了 Um, call me... actually, call me on my cell phone.
我要出门了 I'm gonna be out. Um, okay.
谢谢了 哈尔 Thanks, Hal.
噢 凯莎病成狗了 Whoo, Keysha is sick as a dog.
- 什么？！ - 她真的很不舒服 - What?! - She's sick. She really feels bad.
- 你胡说吧 - 并不 - You're kidding. - Nuh- uh, I think...
- 她不演戏了？- 不了 - She's not gonna be in the play? - No.
- 我想她可能被谢丽儿传染了 - 噢天呐 - I think she might've caught that bug that Cheryl's got. - Oh, man.
我去给她送点果汁 看她喝完能不能不吐 So I'ma take her some juice and see if she can hold it down.
好吧 All right.
- 你好么？ - 嗨 我是比尔 - Hello? - Hi, it's Bill
来自伍德科雷斯特金融服务机构 你获得了这次工作机会 from Woodcrest Financial Services calling. I'm calling about the offer.
呃 好吧 Uh, okay.
比尔 听着 帮我个忙吧... Bill, listen, do me a favor...
别再打来了好么？我没兴趣 Please stop calling, okay? I'm not interested.
你会喜欢这份工作的 我很严肃地通知你 I've got an offer you are gonna love, though. This is a serious offer.
你是傻蛋吧？没人要搭理你 You're a bit of a numbskull, aren't you? Nothing seems to register.
你在柜台点了一杯苏打 拿到的时候 When you order a soda at a counter and you get the soda,
你还会一直重复 "我要一杯苏打 我要一杯苏打 do you keep saying, "I'd like a soda, I'd like a soda,
我要一杯苏打 我要一杯苏打"么？ I'd like a soda, I'd like a soda"?
等会儿 您真的不知道我们在讲什么？ Wait wait wait. You have any idea what we're talking about here?
我们准备给您一份工作 We're prepared to make you an offer.
我刚刚通知里昂布莱克他被录用了 I just called Leon Black to offer him that job.
- 他叫我操翻自己 - 呃 - He just about told me to fuck myself. - Hmm.
- 嘿！ - 嘿 我是哈尔 - Yo yo! - Hey, it's Hal,
- 想给你回个电话 - 怎么样 哈尔？ - just returning your call. - What up, Al?
怎么了老铁？ What's going on, boy? Yeah, what's going down?
没事... Oh, nothing, uh, you, uh...
- 你是打来道歉的么？ - 啥？ - Are you calling to apologize? - What?
你特么在说什么？听着 The fuck you talking about, man? Look here, man.
你的妻子想跟我嘿咻 我来了一发然后就翻篇了 Your lady came on to me. I hit that ass and I moved on, dawg.
你当时都不在城里呢 这账就不算了 You wasn't in town, dawg. This shit is over, man.
我现在明白了 Oh, okay. Oh, I get it now.
你在演黑人 因为我也是黑人？ You're doing the black- guy character because I'm a black guy, right?
我就是老黑本黑 巴拉克奥巴马 Black man doin' his thing, baby. Barack Obama, motherfucker.
巴拉克奥巴马 "我是总统 我要打炮" Barack Obama, "I'm the president, I'm hitting that ass."
听着 这不太好 事实上很冒犯人 Look, that's not cool, man, all right? Actually, it's kind of offensive.
别这样好么？ Don't do it, okay?
老黑闯世界就是这么洒脱 Black man's doin' his motherfucking thing in the world, baby.
- 懂么？ - 我说 别这样跟我说话 好么？ - You feel me? - Actually, I said, "don't talk to me like that," okay?
这很冒犯人 我以为你打回来 It's offensive. I thought you were calling back
是要为你对我妻子说的那些话道歉！ to apologize about what you said to my wife!
你老婆已经回到你身边了 我再也不要她了 You have your wife back, man. I don't want the bitch no more.
我说我干了然后撤了 I just said I hit it and I quit it, man.
真想不到 真特么想不到你是这样的人！ Can't believe you, man. I cannot fucking believe you!
- 我向前看了 蠢仔 - 操你妈 拉里！ - I done moved on, dawg. - Fuck you, Larry!
- 嘿拉里！ - 嘿 - Hey, Larry! - Hey.
- 嘿 你拿了我的手机 - 什么？！ - Hey, you took my phone, man. - What?!
- 你拿了我的手机 - 我拿了你的手机？ - You got my phone. - I have your phone?
是的 我们的手机搞混了 你拿了我的 Yeah, our phones got all mixed up, man. You got my phone
- 我拿了你的 - 你怎么知道？ - and I got your phone. - How do you know?
我想打给我女票 用快速拨号 I'm trying to call my boos, man. Gonna use speed dial,
没想到都是一帮老人家 I'm getting all these old- ass people.
- 嘿我很抱歉 - 有人打给我么？ - Hey, sorry. - Anybody phone me?
没有 No, uh- uh.
有伍德科雷斯特金融机构的电话么？ Anybody call me from Woodcrest Financial?
- 没有 - 呃 好吧 - No. - Hmm. Okay.
- 有人打给我么？ - 没有 - Anybody call me? - No.
有没有一个叫哈尔的打来？ Guy named Hal call?
- 没有 - 好的 - Nope. - Okay.
- 把电话给我 - 把电话给我 - Give me my phone. - Give me my phone.
嗯！哼 Mmm! Humph.
我去开门 I'll get that.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
- 我来找拉里 - 进来吧 - I'm here for Larry. - Come on in, man.
进来吧 Come all up in here.
- 嘿拉里 你叫什么名字？ - 迈克 - Hey, Larry! What's your name, man? - Mike.
嘿 拉里 迈克找你来了 在楼下等你 Hey, Larry, mike's down here for you.
- 我马上下来 - 好的 - I'll be right down. - All right.
- 你怎么认识拉里的？ - 呃... - So how you meet, Larry? - Uh...
我... 我经营一家灭虫机构 We met... I run an extermination company
我在客户格林先生家工作 and I was working at Mr. Greene's house
拉里刚好也在那儿 and Larry was there.
我就...这么遇见他的 That's... that's where I met him.
- 所以你是杀虫子咯？ - 是的 虫子 老鼠... - You be killing them bugs, huh? - yeah, bugs, rodents...
就那些 All those... All that.
那你今晚要跟拉里去干嘛呢？ So, um, what you and Larry getting into tonight?
我们要去看《油脂》 We're gonna see a production of "Grease"
- 然后也许去吃点什么 - 嗯哼 - and then maybe get a bite to eat or something. - mm- hmm.
拉里大卫 我的好朋友 L.D., my man.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
- 你好么？ - 很好 你好么？ - How's it going? - Great. How... how you doing?
很好 Good.
- 你看起来真不错 - 噢谢谢 - You look nice. - Oh, thanks.
来的路上还算顺利吧？ So you... You found it okay?
当然当然 我以前来过这儿 Yeah. Yeah yeah. I've been here before.
你们有个邻居害虫灾 One of your neighbors had an infestation.
- 挺好的 - 我差不多了解这片区域了... - Good. - I already kind of know the area...
... 差不多吧 挺简单的 哈哈 ...a little. Yeah, it was easy, heh.
- 我们也该走了 - 好的 - Well, we should probably get going. - Okay.
- 听着不错 很高兴认识你 - 下次见 朋友 - Sounds good. Nice meeting you. - All right, man.
呃... 我会晚点回来 Um, I... I'll be a little late.
玩得开心点 Have a good time.
呃 借过一下 Uh, excuse me.
噢... Oh, oh...
这是我的按摩师丽莎 这是我的儿子大卫 This is my masseuse, Lisa; my son Larry.
- 你好 - 很高兴认识你 大卫先生 - Hello, hi. - Nice to meet you, Mr. David.
这是灭虫师迈克 这是我爸 This is Mike the exterminator. That's my dad.
- 你好 迈克 - 很荣幸认识你 先生 - Hi, Mike. - It's an honor, sir.
这是按摩师丽莎 That's Lisa the masseuse.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hello. - Hello.
- 很高兴认识你们俩 - 我也是 - So nice to meet you two. - Likewise.
还好么？ How are you doing?
萨米的荣耀之夜 Sammie's big night.
好激动 All excited.
- 是啊 - 你脱掉制服之后看起来很不错啊 - Yeah. - You look good out of your uniform.
- 谢谢你 谢谢 - 可不是么？ - Thank you very much. Thank you. - Huh?
- 挺利落的 是吧？ - 嗯哼 - Pretty sharp, huh? - Mm- hmm.
感谢 Appreciate it.
嘿 珍 Hey, Jean.
嗯嗯 Yeah.
- 你打电话给哈尔还骂他？ - 啊？你胡说什么？ - You called and insulted her husband, Hal? - What? Are you kidding?
什么？我没打电话给哈尔 没-打-给-哈-尔 What? I didn't talk to Hal. No talk to Hal.
- 你就有 拉里 你叫他... - 什么？ - Yes, you did, Larry. You called Hal... - What?
- 你说了种族歧视的话？ - 什么？ - You said racist remarks? - What?
- 你撒谎 你特么是个骗子！ - 谁说的？ - You're lying. You're a fucking liar! - Who's saying that?
- 她这么说还是你这么说？ - 我 - Are you saying that or she's saying that? - I'm saying that.
- 噢是你这么说！我没讲那些 - 别装无辜了 - Oh, you're saying that! No talk, no talk. - Don't play innocent.
你看她的眼睛 她全都知道 Look her in the eye. She knows.
- 你真是个烂人 - 我不是 - You're a rotten apple. - I'm not a rotten apple.
- 告诉她我是好人 - 我才不帮你求情 - Tell her I'm a good apple. - I'm not telling her shit for you.
我是好... 好人 I'm a good... Good apple.
好-人 Good apple.
操你妈 Fuck you.
她会说话？说什么？ She talks? What?
你听见了呀！ Good, you heard me!
反弹！ You too!
你这个烂仔到底做了什么？ What the hell did you do, sicko?
怎么把她气成那样？ What does he get her all upset like that for?
女士们 先生们 《油脂》马上要开演了 Ladies and gentlemen, "Grease" is about to begin.
请将手机关机 Please turn off all cell phones.
谢谢 Thank you.
- 有只老鼠！ - 什么？！ - It's a rat! - What?!
我来搞定 我来搞定 I got it, I got it, I got it.
我来搞定 我来搞定 小心 I got it. I got it. I got it. Look out, look out.
这不是耗子！这是只狗！ It's not a rat! It's a dog!
这是只狗！我的天啊 这是只狗！ It's a dog! Oh my god, it's a dog!
这是只狗！ It's a dog!
噢天啊... Oh, god...
这是耗子 这是耗子 It's a rat. It's a rat.
- 你对他做了什么？ - 是只耗子 - What did you do to him? - It's a rat.
好吧 Well, yeah.
- 就这样了 - 是啊 这也... - This is it. - Yeah. Uh, that was...
- 挺好玩的 - 是啊 - That was pretty fun. - Yeah.
感觉挺... 挺好 挺好玩的 Yeah, was... feels, feels good. It was fun.
狗长成那样有点奇怪 It was a little weird with that dog.
- 那是你的职业素养 - 也许吧 - You know, that's your training. - Yeah, you know?
你会下意识做出举动 这是...这是本能的反应 You- you reacted. That was... It was... it was instinctual.
- 是的 我下次还会这么做 - 当然 - Yeah, I'd do it again, you know? - Absolutely.
- 啊哈 - 只是有点... 运气不好 - Ahem. - yeah, it's just... it's unfortunate.
- 毕竟是只狗 - 这就是不好的地方 - It was a dog. - Yeah. Yeah, that's the bad part.
很遗憾我们没看到演出 Uh, it's sad that we didn't get to see the show.
是啊 我本来多期待啊 Yeah, I would've liked to have seen it. I was looking forward to it.
我也是 要是他们能再演一遍 Me too, a lot. If they happen to redo it,
我一定会去的 只要你愿意 I'll go if you want.
- 好吧 再看吧 - 好 - All right, we'll see. - Okay.
你接下来准备做什么？ What are you gonna do?
- 我准备进门了 - 好的 - I'm just gonna go in. - Okay.
好吧 嗯 好的 All right. Yeah, okay.
- 拜拜 - 放轻松 - Bye. - All right, take it easy.
- 再见 - 拜 - See ya. - Bye.
- 嗨 亲爱的 - 嗨 Hi, honey. - Hello.
- 你怎么了？- 我不舒服 - How are you doing? - I don't feel well.
- 不舒服？ - 不舒服 - No? - No.
- 我给你做了些吐司 - 是么？ - I made you some toast. - Oh, really?
- 你想... - 新吐司机好用么？ - You want... - How's the new toaster?
很好用 It's great.
- 天呐 - 我好难受啊 - Oh, goodness. - I feel so awful.
- 噢不 - 我头疼 - Oh, no. - Oh, man, I've got a headache.
噢 Oh.
- 我发烧了么？ - 我觉得是的 - Do I have a fever? - I think you do.
- 真的？ - 是的 Really? - Yeah.
亲爱的 我很不舒服 I don't feel well, honey.
- 我知道 我也很为你难受 - 真的？ - I know, I'm sorry. - Really?
- 我会好好照顾你的 - 真的？ - I'm gonna take very good care of you. - You are?
- 当然了 - 谢谢你 - Yeah, of course. - Thank you.
谢谢你 亲爱的 Thank you, honey.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
不好吗？ No good?
翻译：老流氓克里欧 校对：LadyM、甜食 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net